Crush Groovin: Sarah Jessica Parker

SJP closing out 2013.

SJP closing out 2013.

When you think of Sarah Jessica Parker (SJP as adoring fans so affectionately call her) a picture of Carrie Bradshaw wearing the most ridiculous outfit anyone has ever seen will always come to mind. No surprises there. The tiny actress did bring life to the fashionista so many women came to love for her puns and unapologetic fashion sense and hate for her moodiness and indecisiveness over Big and Aidan.

During my college era, I remember watching episodes of the series, Sex and the City . . . mainly for the trendy clothes and relationship drama–but mostly for the clothes. It was during the stint of the HBO series that I blossomed into a real fashionista myself after watching four women strut down the streets of New York City in stilettos and wear bright-colored suits and dresses paired with unforgettable jewelry, accessories. (Who can forget the Carrie necklace and the gargantuan flowers?)

I will shamefully admit how I (initially) did not think of SJP as being an attractive woman with looks to kill for. Frankly, I had a very hard time understanding how she landed a role which obviously called for great sex appeal. But somehow, episode after episode, the actress eased her way onto my girl crush list. Before I knew it, I found myself admitting to how adorably cute she was and how much chemistry she had with her female co-stars and her main squeezes, Big (Chris Noth) and Aidan (John Corbett).

I love this look.

I love this look.

Now, SJP is one of my all-time favorite actresses. The reasons? Besides her representing for us skinny girls? Why, it’s because she has successfully gone through her entire career without ever comprising herself for nude scenes (she managed to play on a show about love and sex without showing any hint of nudity), she can wear something that looks like a potted plant on her head with great confidence while everyone else question her [fashion] sanity, and she’s a UNICEF Goodwill ambassador and a philanthropist. Overall SJP is just a fascinating woman, and she is, legit, an entertaining actress.

0f050414b9c52bb29d403bb0ca995dc1Sarah Jessica Parker is the girl next door. No matter what negative, vile comments people spew about her looks, they fail to see her true beauty. Her inner beauty is what makes her one of the most beautiful women in this world of plastic and counterfeits.

Yes, I used to be one of those negative people. But her internal/external beauty–her charisma was what won me over. And it’s why she has a secured spot on my list of girl crushes.

So fly.

So fly.

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2013: A Year in Review

Christmas has finally come and gone! Which means a new year with new beginnings is coming.

I have been eagerly anticipating for 2014 to get here, you have no idea! Not that 2013 was a terrible year or anything. I’m just over it and ready for a new year filled with new, uncharted, unexplored territory to greet me. A new year presents the chance to hit the refresh button. Looking back on all that has happened in 2013, I realize how everything I experienced has prepared me for what’s to come. I was unaware of all the preparation at the time, but I now see how it all plays a part in the journey I am taking in the upcoming year.

The beginning of the year: January 2013. What a month to start off on the wrong foot! If I recall correctly, it was the very first day, or maybe it was the second day. No matter, the new year was already being unfair to me with its sick and twisted humor; for January was the month when I was forced to quit believing for a relationship to progress to an official status–a “relationship” that somehow only existed in my mind; one that I knew was not in my best interest. I won’t go into details about it, but even though my stubborn heart and I knew it wasn’t right for me and I needed to let go, it wounded me in the end. I remember how I wasn’t feeling well on the very day I discovered heartbreaking news from a man who claimed to have loved me, too. The crushing news was a wakeup call. Granted, it was a delayed call but a wakeup call no less.

I swear this was me. Ugly crying face and all.

I swear this was me. Ugly crying face and all.

On that very same day, when I was ill plus wounded, my sister informed me of her engagement to her boyfriend. She’d sent me a text, so I thought I’d missed the proposal. I assumed my now brother-in-law had proposed to my sister at a family’s gathering on that day. (He had not. They only announced it to everyone at the gathering.) So there I was at home, sick, brokenhearted, and happy all wrapped up in a wool blanket. A cruel joke: that was what the universe was playing on me, and I did not find it the least bit funny.

As the newness faded from the new year, my heart was on the mend, I was well, and I was working. The new year was finally giving me a chance to redefine myself. So what did I do with a newfound confidence? Well, I mustered up the courage to approach a guy for the very first time ever, I adopted a new mantra (“Nothing to lose, everything to gain”), and I started to develop a different attitude about how I was going to live my life in 2013. Springtime rolled around and my confidence was at an all-time high. So high, I let friends of mine convince me to finally start a blog. Not sure where those so-called friends ARE, but Tada!

And then I unexpectedly stopped working. And then I was out of work for a few months. And then I started back working. And then my sister’s wedding happened. And then I lost track of time. And then I started working not one but two jobs. No joke, I felt as if my life was spiraling out of my control everytime I tried to grab ahold of it. And yet, here I am, still blogging and happier than ever.

December is on its way out, which means 2013 is too. (Good riddance!) What happened in the past year is exclusive to 2013 alone, never to be experienced again, thank GOD! It wasn’t all so bad, though. The year did have some highlights even though it started off with negative vibes. I’ve had the chance to work as a stylist to women who love fashion just as much as I do. But being in that position taught me that although it was something I wanted to do, it’s not something I’m too keen on pursuing as a full-time career as I’d thought. Nothing wrong with dressing others. I’m appreciative to my customers when they thank me for all of my help, making their day (and wardrobe) brighter. I just prefer dressing myself (laughs). And there’s nothing wrong with that! But I think the best thing 2013 has done for me was that it allowed me to find my true passion again–a passion currently in the works.

Just as I’ve said goodbye to loved ones who moved away, 2013 brought me new friendships and relationships with people close by to across the seas. Those new friendships and relationships have helped me to broaden my thought-life and I’m grateful for each and every person who has given me sound advice. As for the guy I approached? Yeeeaaah . . . more on that later.

I must say that the BIGGEST opportunity 2013 presented to me in the entire year is still in the developing stages, waiting for its culmination in 2014. What is this opportunity I’m speaking of? Hmmmm, I’m not ready to reveal it just yet, IF I choose to reveal it.

While 2013 started out so horribly (or so I thought), the ending was everything I wanted it to be. And I cannot wait to see what surprises 2014 has gift-wrapped for me.

Having said all of that, I wish everyone who has read down this far a HAPPY BRAND NEW YOU! I think the new year is the perfect time to make your dreams come true. Don’t you?

Eat a bowl of black-eyed peas and have a Happy 2014!!!!
Peace, love and light.

*k*

I Am Not My Hair . . . Am I?

Long hair don’t care . . . until someone assumes it’s not yours.

Natural Hair

This week sometime, I was talking to a male friend of mine who is from and lives in Korea. We had our general conversation: the typical “Hey, how are you? How’s work going?,” and as usual, talk about our cultural differences. Somewhere in between banal and “respect of customs” talk, he gave me a compliment about my curly, wavy hair. It went something like this:

Him: Where did you get that hair? Looks nice!
Me: That’s my hair! All of it! *laughs*
Him: Oh, really?
Me: Yessss. O_O
Him: I don’t know if it’s true or not.
Me: O_O Then I will show you someday.
Him: But I heard black people can’t have long hair.
Me: That’s not true.
Him: And I saw some Beyonce’s pic.
Me: O_-
Him: She doesn’t have hair but fake hair, haha.
Me: *laughs*

Yes, that conversation did happen. I further explained to him that black women were capable of growing their hair to long lengths like women from other ethnicities. I also made sure he understood that caucasian women (or whatever PC name my white sisters prefer to be called) were guilty of wearing extensions just as much as black women were.

Was I offended by his inaccurate assumption about my hair not being real? Not. At. All. I understand that because of the homogeneous society where he is from and where he lives, he hasn’t had much exposure to women who look like me. The only exposure he has is to what he sees on television and in the media (i.e., Beyonce, which leads me to another topic I’m not quite ready to dive into just yet but will eventually ).

Actress, Viola Davis

Actress, Viola Davis


Had it come from someone else, it would’ve sounded like a backhanded compliment. I was able to accept the compliment for what it was and not pop off at him for saying something that otherwise could have been offensive had I’d chosen to be offended. But as we continued to talk about other things, one thing nagged me a bit: why do we–black women–feel the need to add hair to our beautiful tresses?

I haven’t worn any in a while, but people know me for wearing wigs and phony ponytails. Fake hair is fake hair, regardless. I don’t need to wear any, but I like the convenience of changing my hairstyles and color whenever I feel that the outfit I’m wearing requires for me to. And when I’m ready to go back to my own head full of hair, I can on any day. But why do we prefer to wear longer hair past our shoulders down to our waistlines?

Janelle Monáe

Singer, Janelle Monáe

I desperately wanted to sing praises of the black woman to my Korean friend–to expound on so many things that the Beyonce’s, Gabriel Union’s , Zoe Saldana’s, Lauryn Hill’s, Alicia Keys’, Halle Berry’s, and Tyra Banks’ do not portray. (Seriously, those are all of the women he finds attractive.) I wanted to tell him that as black women, we have the most versatile hair that can do things when we want it to and when we don’t want it to.
Yaya DaCosta

Model/Actress, Yaya DaCosta

(Humidity and rain will NEVER be our hair’s ally.) I couldn’t go into detail about it all, though. After all, night for me is day for him and he was working. I did, however, tell him that “long hair is thought to be better, so blacks add more hair.” (Note: Because of the language barrier between us, we often have to talk in a way for us to understand each other.) After I said it, I cringed a little. I couldn’t help but to ponder the why question. Why is long hair considered to be more beautiful? Furthermore, why do we as women believe such B. S.? Why can’t we love the hair we have without adding to it, be it weaves or chemicals? Has society screwed our mindset that much? My goodness!

I wear my hair in its natural state, meaning no chemicals and definitely no weaves. Of course it’s high-maintenance, believe it or not, but I do love it even if it has a mind of its own and doesn’t always obey what I command it to do.

Cindy Blackman

Drummer, Cindy Blackman


One other thing: I’m happy to know that other men from other racial backgrounds are taking notice of how beautiful our crowns are.

. . . I just wish we would believe it more for ourselves. And not become so easily offended when people express a curious interest about our unique hair.

*k*

Getting to Know Me: 15 Questions Answered

q-mark

Source: ask.fm/elegantlychic

So I decided to post questions that others have asked me in the past. This is designed to give a little taste of who I am. More to come.

*k*

If you could own an exotic pet, what would you choose?
I’ d like to have a jaguar: black, sleek, and mysterious.

What is something you wish you were better at?
I don’t know. Maybe something like keeping in touch with friends and family regularly. I think sometimes they feel neglected because I don’t reach out as much as I could. But hey, I’m thinking about you always!

How would you describe your country in three words?
Diverse. Prideful. Divided.

What is your favorite mobile app?
I’m in the process of learning Korean, so I downloaded a free Hangul app (TenguGo Hangul) to help with learning to read the Korean alphabet. Definitely my favorite! Very helpful.

What makes a person “good”?
I think when a person has a pure heart with no ill intentions or motives towards others, they can be deemed “good.” I don’t necessarily think that good deeds always makes a good person. Sometimes, people can do good deeds but have the wrong or ulterior motives behind their actions. But when their heart is clear, it can make the difference.

What is your favorite salad?
Ceasar. I always order the ceasar salad whenever I go to a restaurant that provides salads with their entreés. My mom makes a pretty good salad, too.

Would you rather live without TV or music?
TV. I do that now actually. I rarely watch TV, but you can always catch me with earphones in no matter the time of day.


What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?

The Exorcist remastered cut. I watched it in college with my boyfriend at the time. It screwed our minds so, we had to watch a funny movie afterwards. Needless to say, that movie pretty much was the end to me watching horror films.

What is your favorite month of the year?
December. Not so much because of Christmas, but it’s the last month of the year. I see it as a time to reflect on the time spent in that year and to plan for the better for the following year. People seem to be a lot nicer around this time too.

What slang word or phrase do you love to use?
“That’s craaazy!” I say that a lot haha.

If you were going to get a tattoo, what would it be and where?
I’ve always wanted a tattoo on the inside of my left wrist of my birthdate/year in roman numerals.


What is something you do every single day?

I try to meditate on something positive or on things I need to work on about myself. It helps me to be a better person.


What is your favorite Quentin Tarantino movie?

Kill Bill volumes. I’m a major martial arts fan; always have been since I was a kid. Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown are vying for the number one spot, though.

Elegantdamus…What is the worse date you’ve ever been on?
(I like that name!) The worst date: I agreed to go out with a guy whom I had no interest in dating. He chose a restaurant I had never been to (food, service was great). The problem was…he talked about his ex the entire time! So it felt more like a counseling session. Any hopes of becoming interested in him were gone out the window. On top of that, I’m no prude, but every other word was a curse word so it was very off-putting. I was so happy we met there separately!

If you had Superpowers, what would they be, and would you use them for good or EEEEEVILL? =)
Teleportation so I can travel anywhere in the world and between dimensions. Superhuman strength would be another along with invisibility (the latter would likely be for my own guilty pleasures *slow wink*).