That’s just it.
There is no fancy title.
There is no captivating introduction, no eloquent wording.
It is only me, shedding the mysterious layers of who I am as a person, a woman. Well, not all of my layers. I have to keep some of those to myself.
I might as well let you know now that there might be a few grammatical errors throughout. I’m typing this off the dome, which I normally don’t do. Don’t count it against me or deem me a lazy writer. Look at it as pure form, coming straight from the heart. *smiles*
2016. Hmm. Another year to get it right, no? I’ve never been one to set new year’s resolutions, but there are many things I’d like to improve that are within my reach. Like, I wish to work on my inner self. Here’s what I mean.
I am love. I am love. I can’t stress that enough. The longer I live life, the more I realize just how much love is in me; so much love it’s boiling over, that’s how it feels. I am a spirit who is giving. A spirit who loves deeply, passionately, unapologetically. It is how God created me, I can’t help it, it is my nature. But often, I’ve been afraid to express that part of me to others. In a selfish world that says not to do or give nice things to others unless it benefits self or it is deserved, people like me struggle with that. I have no problems with giving, that’s not what I’m talking about but rather listening to others idly talk about the things they may want or need and actually giving it to them without second thought. The fear of rejection or to simply be taken advantage of, or even to become a burden to someone by being too overwhelming in showing this kind of love has hindered me from revealing that side of me. That’s not who I am and to hold back is suffocating me. So, as an act of obedience, I wish to learn how to answer the call to show acts of love and kindness whenever the inkling awakens in me to give to someone who may not necessarily be in need or show some form of love even if it’s just a phone call. No longer can I worry with how it will be receive or perceived by the receiver; that’s not my concern. I know it’s crazy. I’m crazy.
Relationships. I’d like to work on those, too. I wish to deepen my relationships with the people I’ve allowed in my personal space. To surround myself with people who bring positive energy. People who are more optimistic than I am. I need to feed on optimism, really. I want to learn more from the people I’ve chosen to remain friends with. I honestly don’t think most people who call each other friends don’t really know who the person really is. I want to really get to know who they are, what they like, what they don’t like–learn who they are as a person, a human being, a spirit.
Lastly, I wish to strengthen my faith in God and not waver between what I think I heard when He tells me to move in a direction my human reasoning is uncertain about.
Each year I live by a motto. Veritas lux mea is my motto for 2016. If you follow me on any social media outlets, you may have seen it somewhere on my profiles. Veritas lux mea is latin for “Truth is my light” or “The truth enlightens me.” It’s time that I live by my truth. I can’t hide my true self anymore. Learning to let go while allowing discernment to guide me is the only goal I have for the new year. It’s the only way I can have true happiness. Veritas lux mea.
Signing off. Here’s a little theme music, lol.