A New Kind Of Man – The Rise Of Asian Men In Interracial Relationships

*WARNING: Profanity is used throughout the following blog. Do not proceed if you are easily offended by such language.*
I’ve been following “The Love Life of an Asian Guy” since the beginning of the year thanks to a cyber-friend of mine who just so happens to be living in Germany via Alabama. Never have I looked forward to reading new material from a blogger mainly because I don’t think many have mastered their skills in conveying their thoughts well enough to connect with the intended audience; but this guy has. His witty sense of humor is what keeps me impatiently waiting for more. (If only he would write more often!) This is his latest post, which is set to encourage asian men like him to not only step outside of their comfort zones of the cultural/social norms when it comes to dating, but to breakdown the stereotypes society erroneously places on them. As someone who is a part of a minority group herself, I completely understood the direction of this post. And enjoyed every single line of it.
*Reblogged*

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A Love Letter to God to My Love

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Dear Heavenly Father . . .

Are You listening? I have a message for my love. Let him know that I am praying for him every single moment he crosses my mind. Let him know that I think about him all the time. That I pray for his strength each time he steps out into the world and that he has the wisdom to overcome the trials he faces daily.

I want my love to know there is a genuine woman who cares deeply for him more than any other woman he has ever been with. This woman promises to adore him for as long as we will have each other.

Are You listening? I want him to know that I know he has been hurt by another before. Maybe more than once in his distant past. I know this because I’ve been hurt, too. Like him, I know what it feels like to entrust your heart to someone who is undeserving. But relay to him that while I’ve been hurt too, it has helped me to keep my heart for him and him alone. No one else can have it.

I know You ask me to be patient. I still can’t wait till the very day we shall cross paths. Oh, what a fateful day that will be! I trust in Your timing. To think of how You formed me with Your hands when You created me, You formed him as well. I’m not speaking of a soul mate. You know I don’t believe in that. This is deeper than that. This is a spiritual connection. You took me from his rib, this I know, and You breathed life into the both of us. Separated to be inseparable, I suppose. Does that make sense? You know what I mean because You know me more than I know myself. There is so much to discover in this earthly life, sure. But the journey will lead him and me back to each other. All the tests, the triumphs, all the past failures of our previous relationships, the mistakes we’ve made . . . all the things we experience that shape us into who we are as individuals have and will help us both to prepare for one another. We were separated at the heavenly birth. One day we will be brought together again.

Heavenly Father, take these words to my love. I cry tears of joy to know that he is doing okay and that You keep him protected. The day will come soon when I will be able to embrace him, hold him in my arms, and kiss him endlessly for what will seem like an eternity. The day will come when he will return home after having confronted a challenging day and my breasts will satisfy him when he lays to rest his head upon them. The words I speak shall be like his favorite comforting thing. (Someday, I will know what thing comforts him.)

Until then, tell him that I love him. I am in love with him. With Your help, I will do my best to prepare well for him–to be his helpmeet. Kiss him for me. Envelop him with a hug disguised as a cool breeze. (You know how much I love Your gentle breezes.)

And lastly, remind him of my words the next time he is tempted to give up on love. May he never lose hope . . . and may he never lose me.

Your Daughter,
His lover,

Kirsten

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To you, the reader, if you’re wondering if I really did tell God this, I did; just as you see it, word for word, directly from my journal. This is not just a post. I hope you’re reading this. I encourage you to earnestly pray for your loved ones. Friends, relatives, spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Think of prayer as medicine to the spirit and soul, exercise to the body. May you never give up on love if that is what your heart so desires.

*k*

Letting It Go in 2016

 

That’s just it.

There is no fancy title.

There is no captivating introduction, no eloquent wording.

It is only me, shedding the mysterious layers of who I am as a person, a woman. Well, not all of my layers. I have to keep some of those to myself.

I might as well let you know now that there might be a few grammatical errors throughout. I’m typing this off the dome, which I normally don’t do. Don’t count it against me or deem me a lazy writer. Look at it as pure form, coming straight from the heart. *smiles*

2016. Hmm. Another year to get it right, no? I’ve never been one to set new year’s resolutions, but there are many things I’d like to improve that are within my reach. Like, I wish to work on my inner self. Here’s what I mean.

I am love. I am love. I can’t stress that enough. The longer I live life, the more I realize just how much love is in me; so much love it’s boiling over, that’s how it feels. I am a spirit who is giving. A spirit who loves deeply, passionately, unapologetically. It is how God created me, I can’t help it, it is my nature. But often, I’ve been afraid to express that part of me to others. In a selfish world that says not to do or give nice things to others unless it benefits self or it is deserved, people like me struggle with that. I have no problems with giving, that’s not what I’m talking about but rather listening to others idly talk about the things they may want or need and actually giving it to them without second thought. The fear of rejection or to simply be taken advantage of, or even to become a burden to someone by being too overwhelming in showing this kind of love has hindered me from revealing that side of me. That’s not who I am and to hold back is suffocating me. So, as an act of obedience, I wish to learn how to answer the call to show acts of love and kindness whenever the inkling awakens in me to give to someone who may not necessarily be in need or show some form of love even if it’s just a phone call. No longer can I worry with how it will be receive or perceived by the receiver; that’s not my concern. I know it’s crazy. I’m crazy.

Relationships. I’d like to work on those, too. I wish to deepen my relationships with the people I’ve allowed in my personal space. To surround myself with people who bring positive energy. People who are more optimistic than I am. I need to feed on optimism, really. I want to learn more from the people I’ve chosen to remain friends with. I honestly don’t think most people who call each other friends don’t really know who the person really is. I want to really get to know who they are, what they like, what they don’t like–learn who they are as a person, a human being, a spirit.

Lastly, I wish to strengthen my faith in God and not waver between what I think I heard when He tells me to move in a direction my human reasoning is uncertain about.

Each year I live by a motto. Veritas lux mea is my motto for 2016. If you follow me on any social media outlets, you may have seen it somewhere on my profiles. Veritas lux mea is latin for “Truth is my light” or “The truth enlightens me.” It’s time that I live by my truth. I can’t hide my true self anymore. Learning to let go while allowing discernment to guide me is the only goal I have for the new year. It’s the only way I can have true happiness. Veritas lux mea.

 

Signing off. Here’s a little theme music, lol.

10 Items I’m Wishing for Right Now

Hiiii! Yes, it’s been awhile since I’ve last blogged about nothing. There’s no “but” to follow, I just haven’t posted anything. (Terrible, I know.) With Christmas and a New Year on its way, I thought it would be good to write about what I’m wishing for. I’m not the type to ask for a lot of things. It took me some time to come up with the items that you will see on the list below, because of that very reason. I knew I wanted to make this kind of post for this time of the year. Now that I have drafted one, I thought it would be fun and cute to share with my readers. So here it goes! In no particular order, here are my ten picks of things I am currently wishing for:

1. Axent Wear Cat Ear Headphones

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Are these not the cutest headphones ever made? I’d considered purchasing the everso popular Beats by Dre headphones in one of those rad colors, but after coming across these cute cat-ear headphones I knew I had to have a pair. They totally fit my style and quirky personality (the LED accent lights come in different colors, too). It’s like having three of my favorite things combined: me, music, and cats. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I don’t know where that last sentence came from, but I do know that whoever thought of the concept for these must’ve had me in mind when they created them. I cannot not have them!


2. Rosetta Stone

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I haven’t been practicing my choice language in months now only because i think it’ll be more conducive and effective for me to have a tutor who primarily speaks the language I’m learning. I have just about every kind of language app there is installed on my Galaxy phone, but until I can find a tutor, I need something in addition to all those apps. I’ve heard good (and bad) things about Rosetta Stone. I have the app for it, too, and while it is helpful, it’s not really cutting it. I think having the entire set will be of better use. Maybe it still won’t be enough, but there’s only one way for me to find out . . .

3. Roundtrip Airline Ticket

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I recently ordered a sweet leopard print 4-piece luggage set and I cannot wait to use it next year for my first real getaway to another part of the world. All I need is the roundtrip plane ticket and I will be set to go. 2015 couldn’t get her soon enough!

4. Apple Computer

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Hmmm, I’m so used to using PC with Windows software that I’m not so sure how I will fair with a MacBook. I know Apple users are scaringly crazily fond of the products. I, for one, have never used any kind of Apple electronic/iPhone/gadget, but I think it’ll behoove me to have an Apple computer in the longrun. We’ll see if I really will get one or if this will only remain as a wish.

5. Zuhair Murad

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You guys and dolls just don’t know how much I love this designer. Seriously, you should see my Pinterest board with pins of Zuhair Murad collections all over it. If it has sequins, crystals, beading, embellishments, anything sparkly, it’s guaranteed to catch my eye. Zuhair Murad’s haute couture gowns have all of that and then plenty of more. What I also like about the dresses is how they seem to balance the designs with the right amount of material for revealing skin. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at a Zuhair Murad design and said I wouldn’t wear it. Never. I can see myself wearing the dress shown above. I’d look good in that, don’t you think? Yeah.

6. Big Bang (comeback) Album

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It’s no secret around here that I’m a fan. I think VIPs would understand me when I say I need for the OT5 to make a real comeback STAT! A real one. No solo work; no touring, singing the same hits that made their fans fall for them. I need new music from all five of them together as a group, not separately. With army enlistment fast approaching for the members, it would be nice to have a new album from the guys to add to my playlist. I bought my first KPop album by BTS (“Dark and Wild”) not long ago since they’re the only other KPop group I listen to consistently. (In a sense I blame Big Bang for this, but I don’t regret it in the least bit.) And while I have grown very fond of BTS, I need for my “first love” to get in the studio, go back to their roots (I pray), and release a good bop. I repeat, 2015 couldn’t get here soon enough.

7. Edgestick

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Living in the south where every day is a struggle with humidity and sweat in the summer heat, a girl is bound to sweat out her edges and “kitchen” (note: the kitchen is known as being the hair at the back of the neck that has a tendency of being untameable, for those of you that don’t know). The Edgestick solves that problem easily. It’s designed to get close enough to the scalp and edges without worrying and wincing about being burned, leaving unsightly scabs around the hairline. Every woman should have one in her curling iron drawer if she wants to maintain her smooth edges. (I know I’m not the only one with a curling iron drawer or closet.) I’m sick of having to borrow my mother’s (which, funny enough, I bought for her). It’s time that I have my own.

8. Scrivener

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I recently found out about Scrivener on Pinterest. It’s a word-processing program for writer’s who need a bit of organization in their writing life. I usually outline my chapters in a notebook, jot down ideas or dialogue in a journal, type out sentences in my notepad app, and scribble character traits on sticky notes. I have several notebooks with words written all over it, front and back, and pieces of paper all over the place. Scrivener cuts down on all of the paper use and allows the writer to arrange and manage his/her thoughts at the click of a mouse button.

I need this software in my life . . . desperately.

9. Air Retro Jordans

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Because I’m not as “hip” like all the other cool cats . . .
I’ve never owned a pair of Jordans in my life. I’m 30+ old now and I’m finding myself wanting a pair, particularly the Air Jordan Retro 3, Air Jordan 11, and the Air Jordan 9 “Birmingham Barons” style. I don’t want all three, no. One pair will do just fine, that’s if I can ever find them. My homeboys tell me that I will have to get them online from stores like eBay or Amazon, and I’m like, “No!” How am I supposed to know if they’re authentic? If I’m gonna drop $400-$500 on a pair of shoes I’m buying off someone I’ve never met before I need to be confident that I’m indeed investing in Air Jordans and not Air Gordans or some crap, you get my drift. I really wish I would’ve bought them when they were sold in the Champs and the Foot Lockers and Finish Lines. I don’t know. I may just continue wishing for these.

10. Brahmin

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While every other woman is asking her husband or boyfriend for the new Michael Kors handbag (or whatever hot item women are into these days, I wouldn’t know), I’m asking for a Brahmin. Well, not really, since I already have one as my Christmas present in a limited edition color. I’ve been in love with Brahmin bags since my days in college and I’ve always wanted one. Now, I have one . . . that I’m not permitted to open till Christmas Day. That’s fine! At least I know I got one now!

What are some items you’re currently wishing for? Making a list is fun to do. Do it for the heck of it even if it seems silly, and see how many things you come up with.

Click, Click, Click . . . FLASH!: My Photoshoot Story

I call this concept The Broken Doll. Cute, huh?

I call this concept The Broken Doll. Cute, huh? Because that’s how I felt. Like a broken doll.


Lights, camera, ACTION! Isn’t that the usual order followed whilst on the set of a professional shoot? There were lights. Very bright lights. There was a camera. But there wasn’t a whole lot of action coming from me during my first official photoshoot months ago somewhere in the heart of downtown Birmingham. In my case it was more like, “Lights, camera, . . . don’t just stand there. Start posing! Do something, woman!”
As I stood before the lens of the camera, white lights beaming blindly in my sensitive eyes, I relied on the photographer to guide me (an amateur “model” at least, a stiff mannequin at best) in what I was supposed to do next. The time had come to put to test if I was as photogenic as people politely claimed me to be; to challenge those who would always tell me I should become a model. I’m quick to tell those people who advise me to become a model that I am, in fact, not a model neither do I try to be or want to be.

I’ve never been the type who likes the focus of attention on any level, because it gives me an uncomfortable feeling of being self-conscious of everything from my hair to my body language; it’s because of this feeling that I’m opposed to taking too many selfies (that, and I just think they are the quintessence of the word vanity. Besides, who has the patience to take 20 shots just to get that perfect one? It’s so aggravating!). After months of ironing out the concept with the photographer–who by the way is one of my confidants–discussing the direction I was aiming for, the time had finally come to test out my painfully lacking skills.IMG_20140831_230735

Originally I had every intent on recording part of the session as a look behind the scenes for “Skinny Girl . . .” but I was afraid my incoordination and ineptitude would produce a major case of secondhand embarrassment to my viewers. If I ever do another one, I’ll try my best to not be too camera shy long enough for me to be recorded. Maybe.

 With Adrianne Morrison Hogan, the woman who gave me the awesome henna tattoo.

With Adrianne Morrison Hogan, the woman who gave me the awesome henna tattoo.

Watching my friend, D. Jerome Smedley, work gave me a new respect for photographers in their profession. Being the inquisitive person I am, there were moments I asked him about the equipment he used and their functions. In the end I did have fun thanks to him (and my Mom who was present, God bless her). Dancing to Michael Jackson and Prince songs on Pandora helped loosen me up, too. They both laughed at my dancing, but I don’t care. They were just jealous of my moves, that’s all.

Would I do it again? I’m not opposed to it. Maybe I’ll have a glass of wine nearby and the right kind of music to help keep me from looking like a stiff mannequin who lacks expression next time.

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And now for a shameless plug. Please be kind and visit D. Jerome Smedley’s website at http://www.djeromesmedley.com for contact information.

Of course I had to pose with the photographer!

Of course I had to pose with the photographer!

*k*

Photo Credit(s): http://www.djeromesmedley.com
Styling: Elegantly Chic

The Revamp: Changes in the Making for Skinny Girl in a Curvy World

Hey, guys and dolls! I’d like to take a brief moment to let you know of my plans to revamp Skinny Girl in a Curvy World for the month of September, which is also the month of my birthday, Hoorah! If you’re currently reading this post on the desktop view contrary to the mobile version, then you have somewhat of a sneak peek of what’s to come once “The Revamp” is completed and ready for your enjoyment. If you’re not reading it from the mobile version, you’re not missing much of anything at all. No need to feel left out.

So what’s the deal with all this “revamp” talk, you say, and why should you even bother to visit once it’s completed?

Here’s what you can expect from Elegantly Chic:

Dark and Sleek Design- I’ve always been fond of the word “sleek” and thought it would be good to redesign my blog to reflect just that. Right now, I don’t intend to upgrade to a permanent domain name with customizations for my blog like several of my peers have done as I see no need for it yet, but maybe the time will come someday far, far down the road. Granted, I do hate that I can’t choose a proper font size that is easier on the eyes for reading. Mianhaeyo!

Consistency- I haven’t been as consistent as I had hoped with bringing you posts and I still have a few incompleted drafts that are patiently waiting for their publication. My goal is to bring you at least two posts for each month. That’s one every two weeks. That should be doable, do you agree?

Fashion Threads- People label me as a fashionista, but really, I’m just a woman who loves clothes and accessorizing. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. I’m no expert on trends and as much as I like to help other women piece together an outfit like a tedious puzzle, I definitely wouldn’t call myself a stylist (even if that is part of my current job). I do want to share details on how I choose what I wear and why I choose clothes that any other woman wouldn’t think to wear. These posts will also be reason enough for me to show off captures of my head-to-toe attire. (If only I wouldn’t mind taking a picture to do so.)

Relationship Talk- Let me be the first to put this out there now: You will never catch me talking about or referring to my current relationship status or posting pictures of me and my boothang. It may work for others to do that on every social media platform there is, and it may serve a purpose for someone else’s blog. But my dating life is something I have no desire to flaunt and actually prefer to keep private. (The most you will get out of me is an ambiguous love quote.) That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy talking about relationships as much as people enjoy talking about subjects of a contentious matter. . .like politics! Relationship talk will be ocassional as I share the stories of others I know and have met and blog about my friendships. Even if it’s a struggle, I will share my story about a past rejection.

Diaries- These will probably be the most vulnerable, infrequent, succinct posts I’ll share. Expect to see even more random musings and ponderings from yours truly as my brain continues to overload on them.

That’s just a little preview of what’s coming in exactly three weeks from today. Please look forward to it and be sure to check out the brand new changes!

See you then!

*k*

Music Monday: The Series Finale

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Seems like it was only a month ago when I started the Music Monday series thanks to a fellow friend’s suggestion. Hard to fathom that this was the initial post I wrote a year ago. If you haven’t noticed, I skipped last month’s Music Monday for a number of reasons I won’t get into here. But the first Monday of July also has the honor of having the final post. As Music Monday officially comes to an end, I thought it to be appropriate to come back, full-circle, with music from another part of the globe.

When the angelic harmonies of women from a South African nation are combined with the sounds of downtempo music, Zero 7’s Likufanele is the finished product. Originally sung by The Mothers (in their Ndebele tongue), Likufanele is translated as meaning “It suits you.” A part of the lyric, “Igama obizwa ngalo likufanele,” translates to “The name that they call you by suits you.” How can you not love that?

Likufanele is a song that (once again) transcends the language barrier, proving that music is the true universal language all people can feel and comprehend the same. The British Duo’s remixed tune has a way of easing your mind, allowing you to escape for 6:25 minutes. It is a song you can easily absorb and meditate to when you are in need of a spiritual lift or a peaceful rest. It’s nearly impossible to not smile while listening to it, just as it is nearly impossible to hate it.

I want to leave you with a little trivia as a bonus: the sampled quote at the 3:47 mark is from Drew “Bundini” Brown, Muhammad Ali’s cornerman.

Yeah, this song has “winner” written all over it.

Getting to Know Me: 15 Questions Answered (Part VI)

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Source: ask.fm/elegantlychic

How much would it cost to buy your love?
One one-way ticket. *haha*

What’s the best concert you’ve ever been to?
Prince in 2004 during his Musicology tour. It was such a surreal experience. I couldn’t believe I was there!

Do you believe that dreams can sometimes predict the future?
I do think some rare individuals do have dreams (visions). I wish a few of mine would come true in my future.

Do you like high heels?
The older I get, no. I’m into menswear for women. I’m a fan of brogues and smoking slippers at the moment.

What’s your favorite drink?
Wine. *laughs*

Who would you most like to be stuck in an elevator with?
I think I should keep the answer to this private.

What do you think of tattoos?
I don’t mind them. I would like a sleeve or a hand tattoo, but I don’t think it will be wise.

Have you visited any art galleries or museums recently?
I haven’t. I want to start, though.

What do you say during awkward silences?
Nothing. I just clear my throat.

What’s the movie that made you cry?
Ah, there are several. I don’t really cry often, if at all. The most recent one I’ve seen (Life of Pi) made me really sad.

Do you believe that each individual on Earth has a soulmate?
Isn’t having one soulmate somewhat limiting?

What’s your favourite chocolate bar?
Almond Snickers.

Contrary to popular belief, I’m…?
Talkative. Get to really know me and you might want me to shut up.

Are you a good liar?
No. I’m a terrible liar. *laughs* I’m too honest to be a liar.

How would you like to celebrate your next birthday?
With someone special.

This Is Why You’re Single: “I Can’t Date Someone Outside My Culture – They Won’t Understand Me!”

It seems now more than ever people are becoming more acceptable to the idea of dating outside of their race. Personally, I think dating someone who doesn’t share the same racial background can be exciting whilst learning about each other’s differences–it positions you to discover something new about that person’s culture. I’ve found, though, that while cultural differences do exist, several commonalities are often present.

There is absolutely nothing wrong about wanting to only date someone from the same race just as there is nothing wrong with wanting to date outside of one’s race; people like what they like. But for the skeptic who can’t score a date because they are still waiting for the that special someone who shares the same culture, I challenge you to reconsider your preferences.

Check out this post from one of my favorite bloggers.

*k*

Getting to Know Me: 15 Questions Answered (Part V)

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Source: ask.fm/elegantlychic

What’s your favorite seafood?
Somewhere between crab and grouper.

Do you want to be famous?
Yes and no. Yes, because I want to be given a platform where I can Give God the honor and glory and tell others how He got me to that point. I also want to show a different side to being a Christian. On the otherhand, I don’t want the stress of my every move being scrutinized. I’d definitely be one of those extremely private “celebrities.”

Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs. They feel really nice.

Have you ever fired a real gun?
Yes. But at an inanimate object, I swear.

What’s your favorite phrase in a foreign language?
건강하세요. (Geonganghaseyo.)

What is the most beautiful language?
Generally, people would say something like French or Portuguese. I’ve fallen in love with the Korean language, however. It’s difficult to learn because some of the words have unusual sounds. But the lilt, the various honorifics, and even the sounds are all beautiful in my humble opinion. I can’t wait for the day when I’m able to speak it fluently. (I’ve a long way to go.)
There are so many other languages that are just as beautiful, of course.

Would you rather be a lonely genius, or a sociable idiot?
Lonely genius. I think I already am. *laughs*

Do you collect anything? If so, what is it?
Odd rings. I haven’t bought any in awhile, but I’m thinking of starting a collection of watches, too.

Whom do you really love?
God.

What is your favorite dog breed?
Siberian huskies. Hopefully, I will have one someday.

What is the best way to learn a foreign language?
The best way? Be around someone who speaks it fluently as their native language. Or you could immerse yourself in the culture and learn that way, too.

What is the most dangerous thing you have ever done?
Shoot a gun.
(Don’t worry. It was in a controlled setting.)

Are you happy with the amount of information in your head?
Not at all. *laughs* I wish my brain had an off switch!

Do you prefer day or night?
Night. I tend to function better.

What do you think people think of you?
I believe people think I’m socially awkward, which I am. But I often feel that I’m misunderstood. I don’t reveal the real me to everyone–even close friends. If I did, they’d probably think I was a weirdo. When I’m really comfortable I can be funny and ridiculous. I rarely show that side of myself to others outside of family.