A Love Letter to God to My Love

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Dear Heavenly Father . . .

Are You listening? I have a message for my love. Let him know that I am praying for him every single moment he crosses my mind. Let him know that I think about him all the time. That I pray for his strength each time he steps out into the world and that he has the wisdom to overcome the trials he faces daily.

I want my love to know there is a genuine woman who cares deeply for him more than any other woman he has ever been with. This woman promises to adore him for as long as we will have each other.

Are You listening? I want him to know that I know he has been hurt by another before. Maybe more than once in his distant past. I know this because I’ve been hurt, too. Like him, I know what it feels like to entrust your heart to someone who is undeserving. But relay to him that while I’ve been hurt too, it has helped me to keep my heart for him and him alone. No one else can have it.

I know You ask me to be patient. I still can’t wait till the very day we shall cross paths. Oh, what a fateful day that will be! I trust in Your timing. To think of how You formed me with Your hands when You created me, You formed him as well. I’m not speaking of a soul mate. You know I don’t believe in that. This is deeper than that. This is a spiritual connection. You took me from his rib, this I know, and You breathed life into the both of us. Separated to be inseparable, I suppose. Does that make sense? You know what I mean because You know me more than I know myself. There is so much to discover in this earthly life, sure. But the journey will lead him and me back to each other. All the tests, the triumphs, all the past failures of our previous relationships, the mistakes we’ve made . . . all the things we experience that shape us into who we are as individuals have and will help us both to prepare for one another. We were separated at the heavenly birth. One day we will be brought together again.

Heavenly Father, take these words to my love. I cry tears of joy to know that he is doing okay and that You keep him protected. The day will come soon when I will be able to embrace him, hold him in my arms, and kiss him endlessly for what will seem like an eternity. The day will come when he will return home after having confronted a challenging day and my breasts will satisfy him when he lays to rest his head upon them. The words I speak shall be like his favorite comforting thing. (Someday, I will know what thing comforts him.)

Until then, tell him that I love him. I am in love with him. With Your help, I will do my best to prepare well for him–to be his helpmeet. Kiss him for me. Envelop him with a hug disguised as a cool breeze. (You know how much I love Your gentle breezes.)

And lastly, remind him of my words the next time he is tempted to give up on love. May he never lose hope . . . and may he never lose me.

Your Daughter,
His lover,

Kirsten

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To you, the reader, if you’re wondering if I really did tell God this, I did; just as you see it, word for word, directly from my journal. This is not just a post. I hope you’re reading this. I encourage you to earnestly pray for your loved ones. Friends, relatives, spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Think of prayer as medicine to the spirit and soul, exercise to the body. May you never give up on love if that is what your heart so desires.

*k*

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Letting It Go in 2016

 

That’s just it.

There is no fancy title.

There is no captivating introduction, no eloquent wording.

It is only me, shedding the mysterious layers of who I am as a person, a woman. Well, not all of my layers. I have to keep some of those to myself.

I might as well let you know now that there might be a few grammatical errors throughout. I’m typing this off the dome, which I normally don’t do. Don’t count it against me or deem me a lazy writer. Look at it as pure form, coming straight from the heart. *smiles*

2016. Hmm. Another year to get it right, no? I’ve never been one to set new year’s resolutions, but there are many things I’d like to improve that are within my reach. Like, I wish to work on my inner self. Here’s what I mean.

I am love. I am love. I can’t stress that enough. The longer I live life, the more I realize just how much love is in me; so much love it’s boiling over, that’s how it feels. I am a spirit who is giving. A spirit who loves deeply, passionately, unapologetically. It is how God created me, I can’t help it, it is my nature. But often, I’ve been afraid to express that part of me to others. In a selfish world that says not to do or give nice things to others unless it benefits self or it is deserved, people like me struggle with that. I have no problems with giving, that’s not what I’m talking about but rather listening to others idly talk about the things they may want or need and actually giving it to them without second thought. The fear of rejection or to simply be taken advantage of, or even to become a burden to someone by being too overwhelming in showing this kind of love has hindered me from revealing that side of me. That’s not who I am and to hold back is suffocating me. So, as an act of obedience, I wish to learn how to answer the call to show acts of love and kindness whenever the inkling awakens in me to give to someone who may not necessarily be in need or show some form of love even if it’s just a phone call. No longer can I worry with how it will be receive or perceived by the receiver; that’s not my concern. I know it’s crazy. I’m crazy.

Relationships. I’d like to work on those, too. I wish to deepen my relationships with the people I’ve allowed in my personal space. To surround myself with people who bring positive energy. People who are more optimistic than I am. I need to feed on optimism, really. I want to learn more from the people I’ve chosen to remain friends with. I honestly don’t think most people who call each other friends don’t really know who the person really is. I want to really get to know who they are, what they like, what they don’t like–learn who they are as a person, a human being, a spirit.

Lastly, I wish to strengthen my faith in God and not waver between what I think I heard when He tells me to move in a direction my human reasoning is uncertain about.

Each year I live by a motto. Veritas lux mea is my motto for 2016. If you follow me on any social media outlets, you may have seen it somewhere on my profiles. Veritas lux mea is latin for “Truth is my light” or “The truth enlightens me.” It’s time that I live by my truth. I can’t hide my true self anymore. Learning to let go while allowing discernment to guide me is the only goal I have for the new year. It’s the only way I can have true happiness. Veritas lux mea.

 

Signing off. Here’s a little theme music, lol.