A Love Letter to God to My Love

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Dear Heavenly Father . . .

Are You listening? I have a message for my love. Let him know that I am praying for him every single moment he crosses my mind. Let him know that I think about him all the time. That I pray for his strength each time he steps out into the world and that he has the wisdom to overcome the trials he faces daily.

I want my love to know there is a genuine woman who cares deeply for him more than any other woman he has ever been with. This woman promises to adore him for as long as we will have each other.

Are You listening? I want him to know that I know he has been hurt by another before. Maybe more than once in his distant past. I know this because I’ve been hurt, too. Like him, I know what it feels like to entrust your heart to someone who is undeserving. But relay to him that while I’ve been hurt too, it has helped me to keep my heart for him and him alone. No one else can have it.

I know You ask me to be patient. I still can’t wait till the very day we shall cross paths. Oh, what a fateful day that will be! I trust in Your timing. To think of how You formed me with Your hands when You created me, You formed him as well. I’m not speaking of a soul mate. You know I don’t believe in that. This is deeper than that. This is a spiritual connection. You took me from his rib, this I know, and You breathed life into the both of us. Separated to be inseparable, I suppose. Does that make sense? You know what I mean because You know me more than I know myself. There is so much to discover in this earthly life, sure. But the journey will lead him and me back to each other. All the tests, the triumphs, all the past failures of our previous relationships, the mistakes we’ve made . . . all the things we experience that shape us into who we are as individuals have and will help us both to prepare for one another. We were separated at the heavenly birth. One day we will be brought together again.

Heavenly Father, take these words to my love. I cry tears of joy to know that he is doing okay and that You keep him protected. The day will come soon when I will be able to embrace him, hold him in my arms, and kiss him endlessly for what will seem like an eternity. The day will come when he will return home after having confronted a challenging day and my breasts will satisfy him when he lays to rest his head upon them. The words I speak shall be like his favorite comforting thing. (Someday, I will know what thing comforts him.)

Until then, tell him that I love him. I am in love with him. With Your help, I will do my best to prepare well for him–to be his helpmeet. Kiss him for me. Envelop him with a hug disguised as a cool breeze. (You know how much I love Your gentle breezes.)

And lastly, remind him of my words the next time he is tempted to give up on love. May he never lose hope . . . and may he never lose me.

Your Daughter,
His lover,

Kirsten

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To you, the reader, if you’re wondering if I really did tell God this, I did; just as you see it, word for word, directly from my journal. This is not just a post. I hope you’re reading this. I encourage you to earnestly pray for your loved ones. Friends, relatives, spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend. Think of prayer as medicine to the spirit and soul, exercise to the body. May you never give up on love if that is what your heart so desires.

*k*

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Letting It Go in 2016

 

That’s just it.

There is no fancy title.

There is no captivating introduction, no eloquent wording.

It is only me, shedding the mysterious layers of who I am as a person, a woman. Well, not all of my layers. I have to keep some of those to myself.

I might as well let you know now that there might be a few grammatical errors throughout. I’m typing this off the dome, which I normally don’t do. Don’t count it against me or deem me a lazy writer. Look at it as pure form, coming straight from the heart. *smiles*

2016. Hmm. Another year to get it right, no? I’ve never been one to set new year’s resolutions, but there are many things I’d like to improve that are within my reach. Like, I wish to work on my inner self. Here’s what I mean.

I am love. I am love. I can’t stress that enough. The longer I live life, the more I realize just how much love is in me; so much love it’s boiling over, that’s how it feels. I am a spirit who is giving. A spirit who loves deeply, passionately, unapologetically. It is how God created me, I can’t help it, it is my nature. But often, I’ve been afraid to express that part of me to others. In a selfish world that says not to do or give nice things to others unless it benefits self or it is deserved, people like me struggle with that. I have no problems with giving, that’s not what I’m talking about but rather listening to others idly talk about the things they may want or need and actually giving it to them without second thought. The fear of rejection or to simply be taken advantage of, or even to become a burden to someone by being too overwhelming in showing this kind of love has hindered me from revealing that side of me. That’s not who I am and to hold back is suffocating me. So, as an act of obedience, I wish to learn how to answer the call to show acts of love and kindness whenever the inkling awakens in me to give to someone who may not necessarily be in need or show some form of love even if it’s just a phone call. No longer can I worry with how it will be receive or perceived by the receiver; that’s not my concern. I know it’s crazy. I’m crazy.

Relationships. I’d like to work on those, too. I wish to deepen my relationships with the people I’ve allowed in my personal space. To surround myself with people who bring positive energy. People who are more optimistic than I am. I need to feed on optimism, really. I want to learn more from the people I’ve chosen to remain friends with. I honestly don’t think most people who call each other friends don’t really know who the person really is. I want to really get to know who they are, what they like, what they don’t like–learn who they are as a person, a human being, a spirit.

Lastly, I wish to strengthen my faith in God and not waver between what I think I heard when He tells me to move in a direction my human reasoning is uncertain about.

Each year I live by a motto. Veritas lux mea is my motto for 2016. If you follow me on any social media outlets, you may have seen it somewhere on my profiles. Veritas lux mea is latin for “Truth is my light” or “The truth enlightens me.” It’s time that I live by my truth. I can’t hide my true self anymore. Learning to let go while allowing discernment to guide me is the only goal I have for the new year. It’s the only way I can have true happiness. Veritas lux mea.

 

Signing off. Here’s a little theme music, lol.

This Is Why You’re Single: “I Can’t Date Someone Outside My Culture – They Won’t Understand Me!”

It seems now more than ever people are becoming more acceptable to the idea of dating outside of their race. Personally, I think dating someone who doesn’t share the same racial background can be exciting whilst learning about each other’s differences–it positions you to discover something new about that person’s culture. I’ve found, though, that while cultural differences do exist, several commonalities are often present.

There is absolutely nothing wrong about wanting to only date someone from the same race just as there is nothing wrong with wanting to date outside of one’s race; people like what they like. But for the skeptic who can’t score a date because they are still waiting for the that special someone who shares the same culture, I challenge you to reconsider your preferences.

Check out this post from one of my favorite bloggers.

*k*

Music Monday: An Ultimate Love Song For You

Atlanta, GA native, Jamie Grace

Atlanta, GA native, Jamie Grace

Lately I’ve been consumed with all things pertaining to love. I’ve even convinced myself to believe that Spring is really the cuffing season of the year (sorry, Winter). Love is in the air, and everyone is basking in it, so it seems. This month’s music discovery fits the scenario wonderfully.

When I listened to “To Love You Back” by Jamie Grace the first couple of times, I cried like a baby. Meditating on the lyrics, I reflected on how God loves me despite my imperfections, my sins, and how I don’t have to feel guilty when I focus on His undying love for me. Then I started thinking of how wonderful it is to have someone to love me in the same capacity; that was when the tears really started to overflow.

Jamie sings about the kind of love I believe we all long for deep down. A love from someone who has a selfless heart. wpid-phpthumb-1.jpegWouldn’t that be the greatest thing of all much like the commandment itself? I strongly believe that this kind of love (agape love) is the love God intended for us to have in our significant relationships but only so many fail to reach.

There’s nothing more I can say but only to suggest for you to take a listen to the lyrics and imagine having such a love where your significant other loves you just as God loves you. You’ll likely not want anything short of it again.

(Either the day of or the night of our wedding, I don’t care. This song will be played.)

*k*

Jamie Grace – To Love You Back (Official Lyrics Video)

RE: The art of connecting with an introvert

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Per a girlfriend’s request, I was supposed to write about what it’s like to be an introvert. Initially, I shunned the idea and told her I didn’t know what I could possibly say that would be any different from what’s already been said. That was several months ago. And while I had intentions to write about the life of an introvert anyway, I never started on it like I have other entries waiting to be published. That is why I am sharing this post from a fellow blogger instead. I’m not being lazy, I promise. OK, maybe a little. But I enjoyed reading lotusgirl80’s insightful version so much I could not not share it.

Click on the link to read her take on the idiosyncracies introverts have in common:

The art of connecting with an introvert.

I will say that this blogger’s opinion is 110% on point. To further support her basis, I want to exemplify some of the points made in her article.

Number One: Introverts are not the chatty type. Talking for the sake of avoiding the silent barrier that often forms between people we’re attempting to get to know is very tiresome for taciturn introverts like myself. Mental fatigue is the best way I can describe this. We’re internal creatures, so our minds are constantly on all the time. When we meet someone, we may appear to be socially awkward and shy to them. People mistakenly think I’m shy, but I’m really not. It’s just that I’m such an observant person who has to process the information my mind is collecting in a social setting. If that makes me socially awkward, then so be it.

As for being an internal creature, I can know exactly what it is I want to say aloud. Actually saying it aloud is another story. Articulating my thoughts can sometimes be challenging. What I intend to say comes out the wrong way, and so it often results in people being offended or feeling like I’m being too harsh in my judgment. Or what I intend to say sounds strange and unfunny when it was funnier in my head. So failing to articulate my thoughts result in me keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself.

Number Two: I find it amusing how my girlfriends are sweet enough to ask me to spend time with them or go to the big party of the weekend when they know I’m most likely to say no than I am to say yes. I do have my moments when I want to hangout with my girlfriends and have a good time (I rarely invite them out unless I’m absolutely bored and want to go dancing), so I’m not anti-social; not completely anyway. I find that once I’m out somewhere, after so long, I need to leave. I need to leave because when there are too many things happening at once and I’m around too many people it tends to drain my energy. Not physically but mentally. Social settings can be too much of a stimulation to the brain, so an introvert like myself has to remove herself from that setting to recharge the energy she has lost or else she will shut down. I’ve found that two hours is the most I can do. Anything above and it becomes grueling to just try to keep the party going.

Attending big parties or even a gathering with more than four people is a bit too much for me; however, I will admit that sometimes, especially when it comes to gathering with friends, I prefer for it to be with a large group. That way I won’t have to talk as much. The ones who are the gregarious types can have the spotlight and I don’t have to worry myself with trying to entertain a conversation. The downside to gathering with several people at once? The pressure to say something, anything, out of fear of appearing to be the weirdo of the bunch who hasn’t said a word all night. The perils of being an introvert, I tell ya!

Number Three: I can play instruments. I have a creative mind (I write fiction for crying out loud). And I daydream a lot (for an adult). Does that make me a nerd? Not really. I prefer the word eccentric to describe the creative side of me. It sounds cooler.

Number Four: I like receiving tangible gifts as much as the next person. Gifts that are created by the hands and from the heart are the ones I cherish the most, though. I’m a total sucker for handwritten (even typed) letters. Making a meal for me when I don’t expect it warms my heart. I remember when I spent the night over at the same friend’s house, she had made a breakfast sandwich for me. I didn’t expect that from her. I thought I was going to have to go to the kitchen and make my own breakfast or grab some from the McDonald’s on the corner. But she did that for me and I thought it was very sweet of her. (But she’s always doing thoughtful things for me, so that’s nothing new.)

I’m not great at picking out Hallmark cards to give to others, but I love receiving cards. I still have cards from my loved ones and old friends from my high-school days. I will, however, give you a letter. If I need to express my deepest feelings or if I don’t have a tangible gift to give someone for a special occasion, I will give them a letter . . . typed. (My handwriting is too unbearable to read. After all, I am an introvert whose mind is constantly going. My handwriting reflects that.) Oh, and big displays of affection (incessant compliments, too) are a turn-off. That’s why it is not a good idea for the guy to propose to me in a public place or even in front of family members. When in doubt always keep it simple.

Number Five: Whatever you do, don’t you dare ask me too many questions; that’s my job when getting to know you. And please, I beg you, don’t let your questions be too trivial or too vague or too open-ended. When I was somewhat dating seeing this guy, every time I talked to him or whenever we went out, he would always start the conversation with, “Tell me something good,” and he would always want to know what I did for the day. I dreaded having to talk to him because I knew the question was coming. I found myself trying to think of something to say prior to our causeries and outings just so I would be prepared for his repetitive inquisitions. I don’t like talking about myself; never have. Even if it’s something as simple as talking about how my day went, I just don’t enjoy doing it. I’d rather talk about things that reveal the character of a person: memories of their childhood, their favorite foods, the last movie they watched, et cetera. Mundane things don’t interest me. Talking is my time to escape from the ordinary things of life (remember, I daydream a lot). I’ll answer your questions, but please believe I’m secretly hating you for doing such a cruel thing to me.

untitledIntroverts are nothing but aliens compared to our extrovert counterparts. That is to say, we really do alienate ourselves from the world because our inner world is entertaining enough. And speaking of extroverts, I admit I do like being around them the most. Whether I need an extrovert as my mate, I don’t know yet. What’s important is for him to understand that when I say I need a break or for him to not talk to me, I mean just that and I need for him to grant me that request without being offended. The same can be said for friends. Luckily the real friends who have known me for a long time understand that I can’t deal with high-maintenance kind of friendships. A few of them still call me a “stranger” and it’s annoying when they already know that I’m not going to call or text them every week to see how they’re doing. Months go by before they see me or even hear from me most of the time.

So if you know an introvert, try not to make false accusations about their temperament. Understand their characteristics and let them know that you understand them. For understanding their characteristics goes a long way with these types. Demonstrate patience in getting to know your introverted friends or significant other and you will discover how absolutely amazing and exciting they can be as they unveil their many layers. Do this and they will appreciate your commitment to getting to know them in the long-run.

2013: A Year in Review

Christmas has finally come and gone! Which means a new year with new beginnings is coming.

I have been eagerly anticipating for 2014 to get here, you have no idea! Not that 2013 was a terrible year or anything. I’m just over it and ready for a new year filled with new, uncharted, unexplored territory to greet me. A new year presents the chance to hit the refresh button. Looking back on all that has happened in 2013, I realize how everything I experienced has prepared me for what’s to come. I was unaware of all the preparation at the time, but I now see how it all plays a part in the journey I am taking in the upcoming year.

The beginning of the year: January 2013. What a month to start off on the wrong foot! If I recall correctly, it was the very first day, or maybe it was the second day. No matter, the new year was already being unfair to me with its sick and twisted humor; for January was the month when I was forced to quit believing for a relationship to progress to an official status–a “relationship” that somehow only existed in my mind; one that I knew was not in my best interest. I won’t go into details about it, but even though my stubborn heart and I knew it wasn’t right for me and I needed to let go, it wounded me in the end. I remember how I wasn’t feeling well on the very day I discovered heartbreaking news from a man who claimed to have loved me, too. The crushing news was a wakeup call. Granted, it was a delayed call but a wakeup call no less.

I swear this was me. Ugly crying face and all.

I swear this was me. Ugly crying face and all.

On that very same day, when I was ill plus wounded, my sister informed me of her engagement to her boyfriend. She’d sent me a text, so I thought I’d missed the proposal. I assumed my now brother-in-law had proposed to my sister at a family’s gathering on that day. (He had not. They only announced it to everyone at the gathering.) So there I was at home, sick, brokenhearted, and happy all wrapped up in a wool blanket. A cruel joke: that was what the universe was playing on me, and I did not find it the least bit funny.

As the newness faded from the new year, my heart was on the mend, I was well, and I was working. The new year was finally giving me a chance to redefine myself. So what did I do with a newfound confidence? Well, I mustered up the courage to approach a guy for the very first time ever, I adopted a new mantra (“Nothing to lose, everything to gain”), and I started to develop a different attitude about how I was going to live my life in 2013. Springtime rolled around and my confidence was at an all-time high. So high, I let friends of mine convince me to finally start a blog. Not sure where those so-called friends ARE, but Tada!

And then I unexpectedly stopped working. And then I was out of work for a few months. And then I started back working. And then my sister’s wedding happened. And then I lost track of time. And then I started working not one but two jobs. No joke, I felt as if my life was spiraling out of my control everytime I tried to grab ahold of it. And yet, here I am, still blogging and happier than ever.

December is on its way out, which means 2013 is too. (Good riddance!) What happened in the past year is exclusive to 2013 alone, never to be experienced again, thank GOD! It wasn’t all so bad, though. The year did have some highlights even though it started off with negative vibes. I’ve had the chance to work as a stylist to women who love fashion just as much as I do. But being in that position taught me that although it was something I wanted to do, it’s not something I’m too keen on pursuing as a full-time career as I’d thought. Nothing wrong with dressing others. I’m appreciative to my customers when they thank me for all of my help, making their day (and wardrobe) brighter. I just prefer dressing myself (laughs). And there’s nothing wrong with that! But I think the best thing 2013 has done for me was that it allowed me to find my true passion again–a passion currently in the works.

Just as I’ve said goodbye to loved ones who moved away, 2013 brought me new friendships and relationships with people close by to across the seas. Those new friendships and relationships have helped me to broaden my thought-life and I’m grateful for each and every person who has given me sound advice. As for the guy I approached? Yeeeaaah . . . more on that later.

I must say that the BIGGEST opportunity 2013 presented to me in the entire year is still in the developing stages, waiting for its culmination in 2014. What is this opportunity I’m speaking of? Hmmmm, I’m not ready to reveal it just yet, IF I choose to reveal it.

While 2013 started out so horribly (or so I thought), the ending was everything I wanted it to be. And I cannot wait to see what surprises 2014 has gift-wrapped for me.

Having said all of that, I wish everyone who has read down this far a HAPPY BRAND NEW YOU! I think the new year is the perfect time to make your dreams come true. Don’t you?

Eat a bowl of black-eyed peas and have a Happy 2014!!!!
Peace, love and light.

*k*

I Am Not My Hair . . . Am I?

Long hair don’t care . . . until someone assumes it’s not yours.

Natural Hair

This week sometime, I was talking to a male friend of mine who is from and lives in Korea. We had our general conversation: the typical “Hey, how are you? How’s work going?,” and as usual, talk about our cultural differences. Somewhere in between banal and “respect of customs” talk, he gave me a compliment about my curly, wavy hair. It went something like this:

Him: Where did you get that hair? Looks nice!
Me: That’s my hair! All of it! *laughs*
Him: Oh, really?
Me: Yessss. O_O
Him: I don’t know if it’s true or not.
Me: O_O Then I will show you someday.
Him: But I heard black people can’t have long hair.
Me: That’s not true.
Him: And I saw some Beyonce’s pic.
Me: O_-
Him: She doesn’t have hair but fake hair, haha.
Me: *laughs*

Yes, that conversation did happen. I further explained to him that black women were capable of growing their hair to long lengths like women from other ethnicities. I also made sure he understood that caucasian women (or whatever PC name my white sisters prefer to be called) were guilty of wearing extensions just as much as black women were.

Was I offended by his inaccurate assumption about my hair not being real? Not. At. All. I understand that because of the homogeneous society where he is from and where he lives, he hasn’t had much exposure to women who look like me. The only exposure he has is to what he sees on television and in the media (i.e., Beyonce, which leads me to another topic I’m not quite ready to dive into just yet but will eventually ).

Actress, Viola Davis

Actress, Viola Davis


Had it come from someone else, it would’ve sounded like a backhanded compliment. I was able to accept the compliment for what it was and not pop off at him for saying something that otherwise could have been offensive had I’d chosen to be offended. But as we continued to talk about other things, one thing nagged me a bit: why do we–black women–feel the need to add hair to our beautiful tresses?

I haven’t worn any in a while, but people know me for wearing wigs and phony ponytails. Fake hair is fake hair, regardless. I don’t need to wear any, but I like the convenience of changing my hairstyles and color whenever I feel that the outfit I’m wearing requires for me to. And when I’m ready to go back to my own head full of hair, I can on any day. But why do we prefer to wear longer hair past our shoulders down to our waistlines?

Janelle Monáe

Singer, Janelle Monáe

I desperately wanted to sing praises of the black woman to my Korean friend–to expound on so many things that the Beyonce’s, Gabriel Union’s , Zoe Saldana’s, Lauryn Hill’s, Alicia Keys’, Halle Berry’s, and Tyra Banks’ do not portray. (Seriously, those are all of the women he finds attractive.) I wanted to tell him that as black women, we have the most versatile hair that can do things when we want it to and when we don’t want it to.
Yaya DaCosta

Model/Actress, Yaya DaCosta

(Humidity and rain will NEVER be our hair’s ally.) I couldn’t go into detail about it all, though. After all, night for me is day for him and he was working. I did, however, tell him that “long hair is thought to be better, so blacks add more hair.” (Note: Because of the language barrier between us, we often have to talk in a way for us to understand each other.) After I said it, I cringed a little. I couldn’t help but to ponder the why question. Why is long hair considered to be more beautiful? Furthermore, why do we as women believe such B. S.? Why can’t we love the hair we have without adding to it, be it weaves or chemicals? Has society screwed our mindset that much? My goodness!

I wear my hair in its natural state, meaning no chemicals and definitely no weaves. Of course it’s high-maintenance, believe it or not, but I do love it even if it has a mind of its own and doesn’t always obey what I command it to do.

Cindy Blackman

Drummer, Cindy Blackman


One other thing: I’m happy to know that other men from other racial backgrounds are taking notice of how beautiful our crowns are.

. . . I just wish we would believe it more for ourselves. And not become so easily offended when people express a curious interest about our unique hair.

*k*

21 Reflections: When Turning 31 Forces You Into A Reality Check

I finally get to mark the other check box. Oh, goodie. . . .
31-40

Today is my birthday. (tosses confetti) I’ve been joking about turning 21 again, but really, who wants to relive that age again? I mean, really. Am I right? Am I right?

Holy Cow, I'm 31! 40 is shouting at me from around the corner!

Holy Cow, I’m 31! 40 is shouting at me from around the corner!

It’s true what they say: You’re never the same person you were a year ago. I never knew the truth in those words until now. I guess I’m a student in the remedial class of life since it took me longer to understand this notion. In the past year, I’ve been vigilant to who I was as a person and how I’ve changed as a person in my 31 years on Earth. (I said that like I’m from some other planet. Come to think of it, I might as well be, but that’s another subject.) Life’s experiences (especially the bad ones) have a way of altering your mindset the longer you live. And I’ve noticed that in the past year, my mindset has changed drastically and, might I add, for the better.

So I created this post in an attempt to reveal 21 changes I’ve noticed about myself, how I have grown as a person over the years, and what relationships have taught me thus far. You ready?

1.It does get better with time if you let it run its course. I hated when my girlfriends told me this. Now, I know it for myself. Sure. It sounds cliché, but we all could use a friend in Time as it really does heal all wounds.
2. Even at 31, I am still tiny just as I was in junior high. And likely will be for the rest of my days regardless of how much food I can pack away. No matter how many times people try to remind me about my body’s weight as if I am unaware of my size, their words will never be able to influence my self-image (which is pretty healthy considering I live in a world where curves are praised as being womanly than having none).
3. The people who have made the greatest impact on me are those I am not the closest to. I always try to maintain some distance between people I allow into my life. I observe others when they don’t realize it. I’ve found that the farther they are from me, the greater chance they have in influencing me.
4. The scenic route is, in fact, better than the shortcut. Seriously. Millenials are always ridiculed for being the microwave generation. Okay. There is some truth to that, but I like to think that as part of Generation Y, I can appreciate not having things readily at my disposal. Don’t get me wrong, instant gratification is nice. But the longer the journey, the grateful I will be when I’ve surpassed my destination.
5. I still have rhythm, but it sure isn’t what it used to be! Another truth: If you don’t use it, you lose it. I could’ve been a dancer (possibly a choreographer) since I was once a member of a dance trio and choreographed all of our routines. I don’t dance anymore whenever I go out. And when I do, I only look good doing my two-step–and even that’s questionable. (Dancing is really foreign in the city I live in to be honest. It’s just something you just don’t do unless you don’t mind people laughing at you at your expense. Otherwise, you better hold the wall or stay posted up at the bar like everyone else . . . unless it is The Wobble. Or The Swerve. Or any other line dance, but once it’s over, go back to your perspective spot.)
6. Learning a new language is rather daunting. But studying a new language and learning about another culture has enriched my life. (My goal is to become trilingual.) Honestly, in this day and age of accessible knowledge, everyone should be at least bilingual. This is merely my opinion, but there is no excuse come to think of it.
7. I now know what it feels like to have a broken heart. I was used to being the one who broke hearts. When I put the shoe on the other foot it was tight and uncomfortable! However, It is my belief that everyone should experience heartbreak when in “love” so that they will know what not to want. I only recommend this to the few who can survive it, though, as it is a feat for most. For those people, I say stay away from it. Seriously. Don’t go near it.
8. I thank the guy who broke my heart. That’s craaazy, right? Not really. I thank him for not giving me the relationship I thought I wanted. A thousand tears later, I see that an “us” was never supposed to happen. And it’s a good thing it didn’t for there isn’t a place for him by my side on the way to where I am going. Simply put: I was too good for him. But I am grateful for what having an unrequited love towards him has taught me and has prepared me for when I do find love in The One.
9. I finally have a better perspective on why the single life is beneficial. For someone who was used to having a significant other, this is a very unusual thing for me to say. It took me long enough to see it that way, but now that I do, I embrace the single life more than ever. A man doesn’t belong on the quest I’m on in life right now. I take comfort in knowing that he will meet me on the other side of it when we’re both ready. That’s worth the wait in my eyes.
10. I’m not as patriotic as I could or should be. Where some people are afraid to admit this, I’m not. I tried to be that person before: The one who is knowledgeable in anything politically-related. The truth is, politics doesn’t interest me whatsoever and pretending that it did showed me that I was not being true to myself but was trying to impress my peers who were that way. The only people I support are the American troops–past and present. I have much love for them for having fought for my freedom and for putting their lives on the line to keep it. I’ll stop right there . . . because that’s all I’ve got.
11. I love my city.Where many of its residents disrespect it, forgetting its rich history in that it was the very city where civil rights activists impacted the world on a grand scale, Birmingham is beautiful with its lush, green valleys; hilly landscapes; and hospitable inhabitants. Did I mention the food? Exquisite!
12. I am weary of my city. Alabama, period. Even though I love my city, I’ve grown weary of it and am working on parting from it soon, God be willing. The reason being? A change of scenery is good at some point in life. If you are in a position to go beyond the state border or the U.S., do it! YOLO! (Are they still saying that? YOLO? No? Oh.)
13. Men from other countries are still men. Surprise, surprise! They are men first, an ethnicity second. I’ve befriended men from other countries, both in and outside of the cyber universe. Being exposed to foreigners has taught me that men will be men whenever they see a pretty face. They will flirt even if they are married. But some of them will take it a step further than most American men: they will even flirt with you in front of their wife. Now that’s bold.
14. Friends in other parts of the world have made a difference in my life. I’ve found that my foreign friends have opened my eyes to just how massive this world really is. You know that an unexplored world exists beyond the boundaries, but once you actually branch out and start socializing with others who don’t look like you; talk like you; or think like you, it is a serious wakeup call to how sheltered you have been. Expand your relationships to include others who are not like you. It will change your views about people.
15. Everyone is not my friend. But that doesn’t mean I can’t be friendly. It’s just easier for me to call someone a friend and someone an enemy. Anyone who isn’t my enemy is a friend. Anyone who isn’t my friend is an enemy. The only similarity lies in the fact that I love both. Not for their benefit but for mine. I refuse to let hate manifest and fester in my heart. That’s just me, though.
16. No matter how much they smile in your face, everyone does not like you. And they will patiently wait for you to make a mistake so that they can be the first to call you out on it. I’m a fairly easy person to get along with and will keep to myself for the most part. Unfortunately, I had to learn this lesson the hard way even when I was aware of it. The lesson has caused me to be a lot more careful and discerning when developing relationships with others. For that, I am grateful for the lesson.
17. The more people I allow around me, the more private I become. I’ve always been private, but it has increased in the past year. Even close friends aren’t . . . well . . . close.
18. Good-looking guys do reject equally good-looking women. It’s life. I think it’s ludicrous when it happens, but hey, people like what they like! And your beauty or great personality cannot do anything about it. (Stay tuned as I will expand on this topic very soon.)
19. Fear dominated me for years. But now, I am finally on the road to my purpose. The fear of the unknown is still lingering. Only this time, there are no detours or u-turns present. God has given me a substantial amount of things I need to make it come to pass: a gift, a desire, two support groups, friends, and the courage to see it through. The only person who can stop me is me.
20. I will probably never grow up. I sincerely mean that. I often joke that the imaginative world in my head is far more interesting than the life I live. Even my dreams are livelier than my boring life. I’ve accepted that I will always have a child-like spirit and mind . . . with an impressive lexicon. I can live with that.
21. With aging comes wisdom. With wisdom comes gray hairs. I don’t have any, so I guess I still have a lot more to learn. (Although, I could’ve sworn I found one three weeks ago, but it remains a mystery . . . and a mystery it shall remain. I’m serious. I better not see that sucker again or it will be plucked!)

And there you have it! All 21. Overall, I’m learning that training my mind to see the good in an obviously bad situation is difficult to do. But it is necessary for those who want to keep their sanity and hope at the forefront.

So far, turning “21” isn’t so bad! Much is in store for the next 29 days. I’m looking onward with hope and excitement.

Now excuse me while I go and eat a tasty Italian meal from one of the many restaurants in the city that I love. (Y’all know how much I love Italian food!)

*k*

Kindred Spirits and Divine Connections: The kind of friendships sent from above

I’m in a glass case of emotion!!!!

Friendships are such a wonderful gift! Every time we step away from our front door and out into the unpredictable world, we enter into possibilities to meet new people and establish connections with them. Maybe that person is the new neighbor whom you haven’t had an encounter with yet. Or maybe you’ve been neighbors for awhile, but neither of you has ever introduced yourselves to one another. If you have a job and you work in a setting where you have co-workers, that setting stands as a prospect to get to know someone; the same pertains to your classmates if you are a student. If you’re like me, you may meet people through mutual friends. I could incessantly name all of the ways we meet others in our daily lives. The point is, when we connect with someone, we really don’t know how that person will affect us down the road of association.

Recently, I helped celebrate a good friend’s grand business venture which resulted in her having to relocate to another state, and while I am rejoicing with her about this new chapter in her and her husband’s life, I am finding that I am not handling it so well. I don’t speak Yiddish, but sending her off, wishing her good fortune left me a little verklempt. After I received word about her leaving the city that I love, it left me thinking a lot about the bonds we form with other people, who we choose to cherish, and how those bonds positively or negatively impress upon our spirits.

I call my friend my kindred spirit. We call each other Virgo sisters. The way we clicked when we first met was in all honesty cosmic, for lack of better words. I’m an introvert, so sometimes it is difficult for me to converse with others until I’m comfortable with being around them. My friend and I only hung out a couple of times after the first time we met. Regardless, our level of interaction seemed like we had been best friends or at least had known each other for years. We had not; however, after only knowing her for ten months, I consider her to be one of the few whom I can call a good friend. For me, that is a rarity.

Pictured here with my friend, Cherie (left), on the night of her "Good Luck" party. We even accidentally wore the same colors!"

Pictured here with my friend, Cherie (left), on the night of her “Good Luck” party. We even accidentally wore the same colors!”

I had no idea that she would leave such a positive impression on me when I met her. As a woman, I admire her for her beauty–for her sense of humor. I admire her for her tenacity. I admire her for being a successful entrepreneur (one who’s humble at that). I won’t even begin to talk about the genuine adoration that is so visibly evident between her and her husband; it is truly something to behold.

I never thought to let her know about the impression she has made on me. That is, until she emailed me about her leaving the city. Right then I took the time in my reply to let her know that I would forever cherish our friendship no matter how often we hung out or talked to each other in the past. I just hate that it took for her to tell me that she was leaving for me to let her know that. This post only serves as an extension of my appreciation for the positive energy she exudes and for her demonstrating sophistication. Like I told her, I am grateful for having crossed paths with her.

People come, people go; it’s true. Some people will vibe well with us; others won’t. It is left up to us to sift through the gems worth keeping–to nurture the friendships worth holding on to. Don’t wait until adieu or worse. It may not always mean to make a phone call every single day, week, or month. In some friendships between two, they can go without speaking to each other for periods of time and pick up where they left off as if they had never missed a beat. Where I think we tend to miss the beat is in our understanding of the connection and the way others silently motivate us through their lifestyle. If we ever grasp that understanding, then we should express to that friend that has impacted us so greatly how much we appreciate them for just being them. It is one of the most elevating things we could do for another. As the saying goes, you reap what you sow. And who wouldn’t want to be told “Thank you for just being you” in return?
*k*

“No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.” –Francois Muriac

Cherie Fields is the operator and manager of Iron Tribe Fitness (located in Huntersville, NC). If you're near the area or know of anyone who is interested in improving their lives,

Cherie Fields is the operator and manager of Iron Tribe Fitness (located in Huntersville, NC). Find out “why she tribes” and join The NC Tribe family for a different approach to a physically-fit lifestyle.

(*shameless plug* Visit Iron Tribe’s Huntersville, NC Facebook page here. *end shameless plug*)

Crush Groovin’: I Got The Zsa Zsa Zsu!

crush-on-you

Remember that initial fluttery feeling you get when you first realize that you really like someone new? It’s the stuff magic is made of. You know: glitter, butterflies, bunnies, kittens, rainbows, unicorns. You want to hold on to that magic for as long as you can. Well . . . .

I think I have a crush. No, strike that. I DO have a crush. And (surprisingly) he makes me feel that way–all fluttery and what not. If you’re past the age of 30, though, isn’t calling it a crush kind of silly? I don’t know about you, but it is a bit too juvenile for my taste. However, I do like the word smitten; very fond of that word. So let me rephrase it.

Mash me up good ’cause I am very smitten with a guy! He shall remain anonymous and a mystery to friends. So much of a mystery, if he’s reading this, he may not immediately realize that this post is about him until the very end. Or maybe he does know. Because I believe that he is smitten with me, too. Strike that. I DO know that he is smitten with me.

In the time that I have gotten to know him, he has become an exceptional, supportive figure in my life. There is some commonality between us. We text AND call each other throughout the day (a huge plus for two people who don’t enjoy talking on the phone at all but genuinely enjoy talking to each other). We have both opened up to one another about past hurts (another plus for two people who are extremely guarded). Yes, we’ve had our share of disagreements. He has been there to hear me complain and vent about not-so-great guys, even. And goodness, does he know how to keep me laughing even when he’s not trying to! He even thinks that I’m hilarious. Any guy that thinks I am hilarious gets plenty of star stickers in my book.

But that’s where the story ends as we are not able to close the gap to make it official. (Such is life!) We have become really good friends and it is refreshing for me–someone who hasn’t been so lucky with men recently. Even though we are unable to close the gap for reasons only known to us, I pray that we can remain friends for all eternity. Because I know that if I ever lose myself at any point in life, I can count on him to remember who I am and to dig me out from under and he can count on me to do just the same. (To you, there’s your clue. 😉 )

*k*

This doesn't depict our situation. I just wanted to add this 'cause I think it's funny.

This doesn’t depict our situation. I just wanted to add this ’cause I think it’s funny.